Smashing day
Started out poorly, as I went out to get in my car to drive up to our health clinic for a mammogram; some idiots had tried to steal the car, but wound up ripping the steering wheel off. Either they're still in training and haven't learned that certain cars can be stolen in under thirty seconds, or someone vandalized the poor little old thing. I cadged a ride from my beloved son, endured the procedure, and took a bus home. Whilst on the bus, a youngish fellow dressed in army camo in a seat in front of me intermittently emitted chicken noises. Just loud enough that those of us near him could hear. I briefly wondered why he was doing it, then looked out the window. As we got in to the U-District, this same fellow pulled the cord to get off the bus. As he exited, he emitted a loud "Ba -GAWK!" Hmm, thought I, sounds like our friends' chickens after they've successfully laid an egg. Guess the guy spent some time around chickens. Another much older and crazier-looking fellow dressed festively in Easter colors took over the other guy's seat, and as he got ready to sit down, exclaimed in wonder at something he found on the seat.
"I don't understand!" he said to another crazy person sitting in front of him, a younger woman. He handed her an object, which was... a large white egg.
"Oh, well, I'll keep it," said she, as she put it in a pocket.
"I don't understand!" he said to another crazy person sitting in front of him, a younger woman. He handed her an object, which was... a large white egg.
"Oh, well, I'll keep it," said she, as she put it in a pocket.
posted by isabelita at 8:39 PM
7 Comments:
Sorry about the car. Some people ... grrrr.
I *love* your bus story -- guerilla theater is alive and well, eh?
;-)
Stupid kids,imp, or drug-addled people, messing with our cars...
Oh, that bus trip - and I didn't even mention the young Tourette sufferer wearing a flamboyant disco outfit, who had an almost James Brown quality to his movements - he popped up and down, announcing stops for the driver, grunted rhythmically. Very sweet, in a weird way.
You live an interesting life, isabelita. The chicken and James Brown episode belongs in your soon-to-be-published novel...if you don't do it soon, I may include it in mine!
I hope your Hummer wasn't too badly damaged. I'm just kidding. Really! I'm JUST KIDDING!
Heh - funny you should mention a Hummer, as I jokingly remarked to our son that I wanted one with a gun turret on it. We'd like to catch the sorry lot who have been messing around with cars in out 'hood, though.
As for bus episodes; there's a feature in a local weekly, The Stranger, called "Last Days." Every so often someone reports hilarious and/or ghastly incidents of "bus grooming," or other malfeasances. you can see it at thestranger.com
isabelita, you've given me a new source of inspiration! I love www.thestranger. I'm worried about the gun turret, though. I know if I had the Hummer with a gun turret, I would have been locked away long, long ago.
No. I've given this a lot of thought. A gun turret would just make the traffic worse. I'm holding out for some kinda Star Wars laser thing so that I can just eliminate offending drivers and their vehicles. ZZZZzap!
Yeah! Some kind of vaporizer. Like in "Mars Attacks."
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